| This discussion isn't really about friends and enemies. | | | | Another effect of this colored glass phenomenon is |
| Rather, it is about relations between two individuals | | | | that it keeps reminding him about how, in every |
| getting strained, usually reaching a point of no return. | | | | transaction, he was right and 'B' was wrong. With this |
| The psychology behind such a transition is fairly simple | | | | mindset, it is impossible to imagine that this person will |
| to understand. | | | | think in a rational manner. His verdict about 'B' is ready |
| Getting Together | | | | even before the case has begun. |
| Let us rewind to the beginning. Two individuals first | | | | The Grand Mix-Up |
| interact, or begin interacting, with one another either | | | | If you look closely at what is happening at the back of |
| because they are members of the same family, or | | | | this person's mind, you will be surprised. This person is |
| they work or travel together or there is some | | | | unable to separate 'transaction' from the 'person'. A |
| common interest that binds the two. As long as this | | | | negative transaction, or shall we say a transaction with |
| remains a win-win situation, things are absolutely hunky | | | | a negative outcome, does not make the person bad. |
| dory. Things take a slightly different turn when one of | | | | What it indicates is simply that on that particular day, |
| them stands to gain and the other one neither gains | | | | these two people had different opinions about the |
| nor loses. | | | | particular topic at hand. Instead of saying 'we agree to |
| The Downturn | | | | disagree', they probably got into a verbal fight, called |
| Things become bad when one person gains and the | | | | each others names, and branded each other as 'bad'. |
| other stands to lose. The aggrieved person - let us call | | | | Neither of these two people was bad, only that |
| him 'Person A' -- now starts putting together his | | | | transaction had a negative outcome. |
| rationale for this unequal situation. He starts imagining | | | | That is why it is important for all of us to look at a |
| that injustice has been handed out to him. He also | | | | transaction or its outcome as just that -- a mere |
| starts imagining that the other person -- say, 'Person B' | | | | transaction -- and not pass a judgment about the other |
| -- has an unfair advantage and that he is misusing that | | | | person. No two people can agree on everything at all |
| advantage. | | | | times and, therefore, some transactions are bound to |
| Pre-Judging A Person | | | | have negative outcomes. So what? |
| At this stage he starts making a mental note of 'B's | | | | Conclusion |
| drawbacks and deficiencies. 'A' also starts recollecting | | | | Like the 'A-B-C Classification' of items as in Inventory |
| every single negative or unpleasant transaction | | | | Systems, treat a transaction as a C-class item and the |
| between the two of them. When 'A' thinks about 'B', he | | | | person as an A-class item. Try doing this and trust me, |
| always sees 'B' through 'colored glasses' which keeps | | | | you would have discovered a new way of living -- a |
| telling him how good he himself is and how bad 'B' is. | | | | way of converting even your enemies into friends. |