The Easy Way to Get Your Point Across

bottom-link">worth your time and energy. Of course in coaching we
“Metaphor” meant in Greek “carry somethingmight add, “Unless the sow’s ear wants to be
across” or “transfer.” The classic definition isa silk purse,” because amazing things can happen
comparing two things without using the wordswhen someone wants to change and gets good,
“like” and “as” but lately we use it moreconsistent guidance in doing so.
broadly, as a vivid statement that makes a point.WHEN IN ROME, DO AS THE ROMANS DO
Using metaphors is a master coaching skill, and usefulThis is a wonderful Emotional Intelligence expression. It
for anyone who wants to influence or help others. Itmeans blending with the culture you’re in, and
makes something very clear in a few words, andbeing willing to do things differently. Because the
does it by going directly to the right brain whereRoman Empire did this, it was able to extend as far as
it’s ‘gotten’ unconsciously soit did, and last as long as it did. When they conquered
can’t be argued with, logically. Powerful. Hereanother country, they were interested in taxes. They
are some common ones nearly everyone will know:didn’t try and impose their culture or religion on
SPINNING GOLD OUT OF STRAWthe conquered people. They did bring their exceptional
This comes from the fairytale “Rapunzel.” Theadministrative skills, and did important things like build
princess had to spin gold out of straw every night, androads. Why rebel?
Rapunzel helped her. It stands for somethingDON’T MAKE A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A
“impossible” to do. Coaches often help clients spinMOLEHILL
gold out of straw, and the good news is we require aAnother excellent metaphor for keeping perspective,
coaching fee, not your firstborn!and using your Emotional Intelligence. It reminds us to
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULLwatch our attitude and self-talk, and not make things
BOYworse than they already are by exaggerating,
This is familiar to most of us from childhood and refersfantasizing, catastrophizing … making a mountain out
to life balance. I never had a client come to me whoof a molehill.
said, “Please help me learn to work more. My life isNECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION
out of balance.”This is a great motivational and inspirational one.
RED SHOESIt’s a call-to-arms, and the opposite of playing
One of those “smackdown” fairytales from Hansthe “victim.” “Well, you have a difficulty here and
Christian Andersen, who didn’t pull his punches.that’s great motivation for inventing, creating the
It’s about a little girl who absolutely had to havesolution. Let’s go!” A very coaching,
a pair of red dancing shoes, an obsession. Once sheforward-orienting statement.
got them, and put them on, she couldn’t getWHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A HAMMER,
them off, and she danced herself to death. SometimesEVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A NAIL
we help our clients remove the red shoes.A great short-cut way to say you have to have a
IF MOHAMMED CAN’T COME TO THEvariety of tools—which in coaching generally means
MOUNTAIN, BRING THE MOUNTAIN TOpoints of view and ability to generate solutions, as
MOHAMMEDthere’s always more than one. Reminds me of
An example of this is the Just ThinkEinstein’s ‘you can’t solve a problem
Foundation’s Media Mobile bus which bringson the same plane where it was created.’
media learning opportunity to inner-city teenagers inAlways be adding new tools to your tool-box, and this
San Francisco. It means if they can’t, oris how many people refer to learning Emotional
won’t, come to you, take it to them. Or, do it theIntelligence.
easy way. Be flexible. Don’t get stuck on—itBETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW THAN THE DEVIL
has to be done this way and I’m going to cramYOU DON’T
it down their throats.This explains a self-limiting mindset, for instance when
YOU CAN’T MAKE A SILK PURSE OUR OFa couple is miserable and stays together because
A SOW’S EARthey think it might be even worse with someone else.
So don’t try! Some things aren’t going toWhat an attitude!
happen, and the wisdom is to know what’s