| A short tribute to all the psycho bosses in the world | | | | organization. After his speech he walked the halls to |
| who grease the wheels of commerce with the oily | | | | assess the impact of his remarks. He noticed, with |
| tears of the people they walk over on their way to the | | | | increasing paranoia, every door along executive row |
| top. All anecdotes certified genuine, only the names | | | | was closed and two or more people were inside |
| have been hidden to prevent these jerks from racking | | | | talking and/or scheming. That weekend he enlisted the |
| up any more legal fees. Enjoy. | | | | maintenance staff to help improve communication |
| 1. The head of sales of one of the world's largest | | | | between himself and his staff. When people arrived |
| transaction processors was presenting his three-year | | | | back to work on Monday, all the office doors had |
| strategy on point-of-sale terminal placements to the | | | | been removed from their hinges and stored in the |
| President of the company. After listening for about five | | | | basement. |
| minutes, the President picked up a clipboard from the | | | | 4. The new Chief of Staff at a major credit card |
| table and whipped it, shades of guts Frisbee, at the | | | | organization became increasingly impatient as the |
| forehead of the sales executive. Demonstrating the | | | | dinner she organized for her new boss and his entire |
| extreme flexibility common to good sales personnel | | | | staff experienced continued delays in an overcrowded |
| the sales executive scrunched down in his chair and | | | | Manhattan restaurant. Twenty minutes later she could |
| the board glanced off the top of his head, instead of | | | | stand it no longer, jumped to her feet, grabbed the |
| putting a three-inch gash above his eye. "Come back | | | | lapel of the fellow standing by the next table, and |
| when you know what you're talking about," was the | | | | screamed "If our meal is not out here in the next ten |
| President's advice as he stalked out of the room. | | | | minutes I will see you fired." The berated, but bemused, |
| 2. In a quarterly update meeting with 500 of the | | | | customer just pointed toward the waiter standing by |
| company's top executives, this same President started | | | | the bar and suggested she take up the request with |
| berating the VP of software development for not | | | | him. |
| immediately firing "that worthless b**stard" leading a | | | | 5. The President of a commercial insurance brokerage |
| lagging development effort. After hemming and hawing | | | | firm explained to the CEO of said firm that he wanted |
| for five minutes under the President's withering | | | | a private entry from his office to the adjoining |
| questioning the VP finally mentioned that the fellow | | | | conference room. The CEO politely declined the |
| was in the ICU following a heart attack and firing him | | | | request, times are tight, renovation is so expensive, |
| might cause perception problems. The President | | | | blah, blah, blah. The President thanked the CEO, |
| acknowledged that it might be better to wait, as his | | | | walked back to his office, picked up a chair and |
| death would solve the problem anyway. | | | | proceeded to bash a hole in the wall sufficiently large |
| 3. The newly minted President of a major financial | | | | to serve as a temporary doorway. He explained in his |
| services company gathered his new executive team | | | | farewell address that he was just trying to reduce the |
| together and blathered on for hours about the | | | | cost of demolition. |
| changes he was going to make to shake up the | | | | |